Monday, May 22, 2006

Not All Are Created Equal

My kids are different. Not from all the rest of the kids in the world, but from eachother.

I try not to label them, I try not to stereotype them, but in my mind I can't help it. They fit their grooves so perfectly!

I am the proud mother of a happy-go-lucky, a peacemaker, a brooder, a comedian and a princess.

This is not to say that my brooder can't be a comedian or a peacemaker or that my peacemaker can't be a princess. But at the end of the day they seem to fall back to their comfort zones of personality tendencies that make each of them the child I love so completely and uniquely.

My children often ask me, "Who do you love the most?" They can't seem to grasp what an impossible question this is. I love them all totally and differently. There is simply no ranking them. They all go in and out of phases, both difficult and wonderful, but I wouldn't trade a single characteristic of any of them, because I love the whole package! And each one fills a different part of my soul. I would be incomplete if any of them were missing or changed.

Within their overarching stereotypes, each houses the details that make them uniquely them. One of my children has a talent for leadership. Another gives gifts of the heart daily. A third amazes me with detailed and enthusiastic observations. A still different one is a natural parent. Another grants smiles from the depth of the soul.

Someone amuses me (and worries me) by sleepwalking. One girl snores like a lumberjack. Another sleeps with her head completely covered up all the time. One can't be deterred from practically suffocating me in my sleep with too-tight-yet-so-precious snuggles. One regularly wakes with bad dreams. One personifies inanimate objects and insists on making beds for them right next to hers. Two boys sleep peacefully all night every night (thank you!)

Just as I have different joys from each of them, so do I have different concerns. I worry that one will be rather self-centered, while another one's kindness might be taken advantage of. One might be the college partier while I worry for the inner peacefulness of another.

Each of them has different needs as well. It is a balancing act to meet each one's special requirements when these things don't always allow for "equal" treatment of all the children. Some simply need more than others. How can I fill those needs without causing the others to feel slighted?

It is my duty and challenge to direct each of them to the path that will be most likely to lead them to God, as different as their needs and perspectives are. If I can succeed in this one (rather large) thing, nothing else I do or don't do as a mother will matter much.

Please, God, keep your children close to you throughout their lives. Make me a channel of your love for them, exactly as they are.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I just started getting the "do you love me most, Mom, or do you love her more?" from my 6 year old, Billy. I tell him, "I love you all as much as I can. I love you all with my all." Thank goodness, God loves us all with His all, too.