Sunday, December 30, 2012


I have a cold.  I have had it for a few weeks now and I am ready for it to go away.  It stole my singing and speaking voice over Christmas so I had to skip singing with my choir at our annual Christmas concert and midnight mass.  If that wasn't insult enough, I completely lost credibility as an authority figure where my children were concerned, as all I could do was squeak pathetically at them when they were being less than angelic.

But tonight brought the diamond in the tiara.  Bella asked me to sing her a lullaby  as she often does, when I tucked her in.  My voice is just starting to come back and I was thrilled when I realized I could carry a recognizable tune.  Bella, however, was not impressed.  She stopped me half way through and told my that my voice was not so good and could I please try another song.  

I have sunk to a new low.  Sigh.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Don't Think He Misses Us

We are on a much needed mini-vacation so our dog Trooper is staying with friends of ours.  If you look up the definition of friendship you will find this:  people willing to house your gigantic, stinky, drooling, sensitive-stomached Mastiff while you are away.

I received this photo today and can safely say the dog is not suffering in our absence.  He's as happy as he gets when someone is willing to lay on the floor with him and cuddle.

If you know me you know that I am not the dog's biggest fan within our household.  Don't get me wrong, I love the dog, but you wouldn't know it by observation.  I don't pet him often, never get down on the floor with best I give him a rub with my foot.  Why?  Because he really is disgusting and I spend most of my life nauseous.  But when he is freshly bathed (as he was when we handed him over) and looking so sweet and furry, I can't help but miss him.

Thank you, Briana and Jason, for loving our dog!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012


It's a good thing, really!

Yes, of course I wanted to see a perfectly clean brain with no spots at all.  Yet, my biggest fear was that there would be half a dozen or more new spots growing or that the one that was recently treated was still growing unfettered.  The news I got is in the middle of these two extremes and I'll take it gratefully.

I am showing three metastatic spots, all previously seen, one recently treated that has not grown or changed and the other two too small to need any attention at this point.  My brain radiologist was happy with what he saw and says he will see me again after my next scan in early February.  I have at very least two more peaceful months, so what is not to be happy about?  As they say on the breast cancer boards, I get to have a dance with the stable boy!

I am adjusting to my new medication regime which is, overall, much better.  Every other week I take Xeloda and feel sick and tired for that week.  During the "off" week I am feeling better than I have literally in years, because my doctor reduced my dose of Tykerb (daily oral) to accomodate the side effects that come with the Xeloda.  I had no idea how much of my general malaise was due to the dose of Tykerb I was taking until it was reduced.  I am also finally off my two daily injections of Lovinox, so I am taking less medicine overall and feeling nearly normal during my off week.  I had forgotten, truly, what it feels like to feel good for days at a time.

As usual, God has blessed me richly, and I am reminded that no news really is good news.  Thanks for all your prayers!

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Not a baby any more, I'm afraid, but always the baby of the family.  Happy fourth birthday Natalie!

We celebrated at Magic Mountain today (Lindsey happened to be participating in a cheer competition where her team took home first and second place trophies in the two divisions in which they competed...GO REBELS!) and we will have a more traditional party tomorrow with cake and a jumper and a few of her little compadres.

I simply can't believe Natalie is four, although at the same time she has seemed far older than she is for some time now.  She is very articulate for her age and has a well developed sense of humor that keeps us all laughing.  She is smart as a whip, independent and competent, and as stubborn as they come.  She is so sweet and cute and loving that I mostly ignore the stubborn part, because it is impossible to stay mad at her for more than a minute.  She has us all wrapped around her little finger and I can't imagine life without her.  I feel so blessed to be healthy enough right now to give her all the attention the youngest of seven can get and am savoring this last year and a half with her before she goes off to Kindergarten.  

Happy birthday Natalie.  I love you with all my heart!