At the end of April I put Sam in a new school. I know it seems a little crazy to make a switch so late in the year, but he was not thriving where he was and I didn't see the point in prolonging it until the end of the year.
Good decision.
In the last few weeks my old Sam, who had been replaced by an angry, sullen version of his former self, has returned. He is smiling, happy, enthusiastic again (of course not all the time, but much more generally). While he may never love school with all his heart, he has now found things about it to embrace. A change of scenery was just what he needed.
This is a good reminder to me that schooling the children has to be an 'every child every year' decision. It is not about what is easiest for me (one school), but rather what the children's individual needs are. It would be my preference to have all my children in Catholic school from Kinder through 12th, but alas, I am forever learning that my preference is not always the best way. And that is a good thing, as it keeps me open to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit in my life.
As many of you know, Jay and I have been all over the board educationally (no pun intended). When Joey was not succeeding in Catholic school I home schooled him for two years. When that was not academically successful (though it was key in rebuilding his confidence, which was the most important objective at the time) he moved to public school. There he stayed until this year when he went to Paraclete Catholic High School and fit in perfectly. I couldn't have predicted that path when I saw him off to his first day of Kinderarten 10 years ago, but it was right for him.
Tony, with a summer birthday, spent one year of Kinder at the local public school (which, blessedly, is excellent) and then went on to repeat Kinder at our Catholic school. Natalie will do the same, beginning this fall, as she has a December birthday. I opted for Transitional Kindergarten rather than another year of preschool as I believe she is ready.
Now Sam has transitioned to public school which is a better fit for his way of learning. Julia, too, will be giving public school a go next year as a fifth grader. Yet, Lindsey will graduate from Catholic school next year having been happily rooted in her class of 36 students from Kinder through 8th. Tony and Bella also continue in Catholic school. To sum this up, next year I will have seven children in four schools, two Catholic and two public. Yikes! Yet, though I may go broke from driving them all over the valley, I am confident it is right thing for each of their individual needs and that, as a result, our home will be a more peaceful and happy one.
This was all clarified for me yesterday when I dropped Sam off at school. His school has a wonderful greeter who opens the car door for the kids and makes sure they get in the gate safely. She is always cheerful and wears funny hats on holidays, and it has become a highlight of our day to see what she will be wearing or say when we drop off. As Sam got out of the car she stuck her head in the car and said, "What a pleasure it is to see both of you smiling and talking together when you pull up. You'd be surprised how many people seem angry when they drop off their children." That stopped me for a few reasons.
First, I realized how wonderful it is to have Sam back to his old self. That is exactly what we were doing, talking and laughing, and it had been awhile since that had happened so naturally given how unhappy he had been for so long. It validated the decision I had made in an instant.
Second, I was struck by how sad it was that this merited a comment at all. How many carry that attitude throughout their day? How many times have I used our drives to lecture the children on what they need to do better that day rather that setting a positive tone for their day? It made me much more aware that my attitude in the morning can set the tone for the days of eight other people. How important it is for me to be cheerful!
Thank you, Mrs. Wyatt of Valley View school, for your observation, which has enlightened me this day.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Proud Mom
Julia and two friends in her class performed a talent show preview for their school this morning. I loved it and thought they did a great job. If you'd like to see it, this link should (hopefully) take you to the two minute video. Thanks to their gymnastics coach, Daniel of Genesis Gymnastics, for the great choreography!
(For those who are not sure, Julia is the one in blue shorts.)
(For those who are not sure, Julia is the one in blue shorts.)
Saturday, May 04, 2013
Objectified
Yesterday evening Jay and I were cherishing some quiet time in our room. We asked the kids for 30 whole minutes, something of a luxury for us. Although I'm ashamed to admit how boring I really am, I used this precious time to take a nap, while Jay caught up on some prayers.
Every few minutes we were systematically interrupted by a tapping on the door. "Mommy?" a little voice would ask each time. Jay would kindly respond to each tap, "Mommy is not available right now, please come back in X number of minutes (however much of our half hour was left). The taps continued at 5-10 minute intervals.
With about 10 minutes to go, Natalie had had her fill of the gentle rebuffs. She changed her tactic: "Dad, can I use mommy for a few minutes?"
We both laughed hard at that. Jay comment that our four year old daughter had just completely objectified me and we found it funny. Where is my Christian dignity? On vacation sometimes where my children are concerned. Go ahead--use me! That's what I'm here for.
Every few minutes we were systematically interrupted by a tapping on the door. "Mommy?" a little voice would ask each time. Jay would kindly respond to each tap, "Mommy is not available right now, please come back in X number of minutes (however much of our half hour was left). The taps continued at 5-10 minute intervals.
With about 10 minutes to go, Natalie had had her fill of the gentle rebuffs. She changed her tactic: "Dad, can I use mommy for a few minutes?"
We both laughed hard at that. Jay comment that our four year old daughter had just completely objectified me and we found it funny. Where is my Christian dignity? On vacation sometimes where my children are concerned. Go ahead--use me! That's what I'm here for.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Scantastic!
As I mentioned at the end of my last post, I had a good brain scan last week that showed the two remaining lesions in my brain have shrunk "slightly". After becoming happily accustomed to "stable", this was a complete thrill for us. I mention this news again since I am thinking the majority of you never made it to the end of my last way-too-long post to read that news.
Now I have the news of my whole body PET/CT scan to add to this. It was the best scan I have had in a very long time. The long and slow march of cancer through my bones has finally been halted and mostly reversed. All the activity in my sacrum and ribs has stopped completely and is showing increased sclerosis, a hardening of the bone lesions which is usually indicative of healing. The only active bone lesions remaining are in my femur and T9 vertabrae. Four months ago the SUV (measure of activity) was 6.0 in the T9 and is now1.7. It was 5.5 in my femur and is now 2.3. This is amazing news!
My oncologist decided to get aggressive with things after my last scan showed continuing progression in the bones. I began taking two new medications: Xgeva, which is an injection specific to bones, and Xeloda, which is a twice daily oral chemo one week on and one week off. Both of these have some very unpleasant side effects, but with results like these, I am newly pleased to continue taking them.
All my soft tissue organs are totally clear, as they have been since I completed my course of TDM1 (now approved by the FDA!!!) in summer of 2011.
Of course you all know I attribute this as much to answered prayers as to medical intervention. Given that the whole time Jay has been asking for "a miraculous or medical cure", they have become one and the same for us. This is the closest I have been to NED (no evidence of disease) in awhile, certainly since the brain mets popped up in 2011. I thank you so very much for your continued support and prayers!
Now I have the news of my whole body PET/CT scan to add to this. It was the best scan I have had in a very long time. The long and slow march of cancer through my bones has finally been halted and mostly reversed. All the activity in my sacrum and ribs has stopped completely and is showing increased sclerosis, a hardening of the bone lesions which is usually indicative of healing. The only active bone lesions remaining are in my femur and T9 vertabrae. Four months ago the SUV (measure of activity) was 6.0 in the T9 and is now1.7. It was 5.5 in my femur and is now 2.3. This is amazing news!
My oncologist decided to get aggressive with things after my last scan showed continuing progression in the bones. I began taking two new medications: Xgeva, which is an injection specific to bones, and Xeloda, which is a twice daily oral chemo one week on and one week off. Both of these have some very unpleasant side effects, but with results like these, I am newly pleased to continue taking them.
All my soft tissue organs are totally clear, as they have been since I completed my course of TDM1 (now approved by the FDA!!!) in summer of 2011.
Of course you all know I attribute this as much to answered prayers as to medical intervention. Given that the whole time Jay has been asking for "a miraculous or medical cure", they have become one and the same for us. This is the closest I have been to NED (no evidence of disease) in awhile, certainly since the brain mets popped up in 2011. I thank you so very much for your continued support and prayers!
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Roam Sweet Home
It may seem like a long time since I've updated my blog (and it has been, sorry!), but I have been all over the place. Literally!
Shortly after my last post I got into Easter preparations which, for a cantor and choir member are extensive. Singing for stations of the cross, Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday Veneration, Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday kept me quite busy. I spent close to as much time at church than I did at home for a good week! And that was a good thing for me, as I so love to sing to our Lord. We ended the flurry with a lovely, peaceful family Easter at home.
Then the real activity began. The day after Easter I went down to Cedars-Sinai for my regular treatment. After treatment I stayed in Los Angeles, killing time by experimenting with city bus routes (first time on a bus in more than 20 years...the fare went up!) until I found my way to the Grove. I had some lunch, went to a movie and waited for my boys to arrive so we could go to the airport.
Soon enough we were on our way to Orlando. It had been awhile since I had spent good quality time with Joey (14) and Sam (11), so it was really nice to travel just the three of us. When we arrived at 5am (ugh) after a flight where I was sandwiched between the boys (who had boundless energy to poke each other repeatedly over my not-resting-but-should-have-been body), we drove to Cocoa Beach on the East Coast of Florida. They boys went straight to the beach while I happened upon a daily mass beginning right then directly across the street. Divine intervention? I think so.
After spending a very sandy day at a beautiful beach (perfect for my skimboarding boys) we checked into our hotel and tried to catch up on our sleep.
The next day we went to the Kennedy Space Center. It exceeded all of our expectations. The boys were of the mind that they would rather have an extra day at Disneyland, but when we finished our tour they both agreed that it was more than worth the detour. It would have been the perfect day had I not listened to "Siri" who directed me away from all of the signs pointing me to the space center and instead delivered us 20 minutes away to an employee back gate. Of course we had to go all the way back around, but we did see some amazing (and eerily close) Crocodiles and a pretty impressive Bald Eagle Nest, so not all was lost.
I was pretty done by the end of the day, but as fate would have it, Universal Studios was having a Buy 2 Get 1 Free sale when we bought our park tickets. The boys suggested we drive into Orlando--at 6pm--and use the free extra day (that would otherwise be wasted) for the few hours remaining until closing. Since I was feeling surprisingly well, I agreed, and we had a good time getting a preview of the Island of Adventure park that we had never been to before. We concentrated particularly on the Wizarding World Harry Potter which was a lot of fun for a family that has enjoyed the books and seen the movies, but it was really crowded so we didn't do much. On our way out of the park we got hit by a major rainstorm and were soaked to the bone by the time we got to the car. First item of business the next morning when we got to Epcot Center? You got it, Mickey Mouse rain ponchos! Rain had never occurred to us, being desert dwellers, but since it was so warm it was more fun than miserable.
The next day we moved to our hotel in Orlando, and from there the day was all Disney. Epcot with early dinner in Japan, Disney Studios in the late afternoon into evening and The Magic Kingdom until 12:30am. I don't know where I got the energy, but we had so much fun! (As an aside, the doctor I mentioned forgetting in my last blog is a Rehabilitation and Survivorship doctor and has already made some really positive changes in my overall quality of life--more about that in a different post, but the changes were evident in all that I was able to do on this trip).
The following day was Universal, the original park. That was the day I hit the wall. As you may recall, I take an oral chemo one week on, one week off. I had started my week on two days prior and it always hits me on the third day. I pretty much got the kids in the gate, gave them some money and made sure everyone's phone was working and went back to the parking garage and took a long nap. It was during this nap that I came to understand that most people locate their cars by pressing the panic buttons on their remotes. Not the best nap I've ever had, but so needed that it was truly blissful anyway. I met the kids back in the park, still not 100%, and made sure they had dinner after which I stayed put and said my daily prayers in the booth of a cafe, simply happy to be stationary. We finally made it back to the car at 10pm where I traumatized the boys by having to stop the car and throw up. But, what can you do?
Happily, our hotel was very close to the shrine Mary Queen of the Universe. We go there every time we are in Orlando, and this time was no exception. While the boys slept, I would sneak out to morning mass and come back ready for another day. The Eucharist was most definitely the source of my remarkable strength on this whirlwind trip (and always is, for that matter). The church is gorgeous and has a very large gift shop. The Sunday morning mass featured two cantors backed by 4 or 5 other singers that were so pure and beautiful that I nearly wept with joy. We saw Red-Ear Slider turtles swimming in the pond and watched them for a awhile after mass, as Joey has two in a tank in his room.
At about this point in the trip, an amazing thing started to happen. My too-big-to-hug-mom-when-anyone-is-looking sons started spontaneously hugging me and saying things like, "I love you mom" and "Wow, I'm feeling really spoiled with all of this" and "Thank you so much for all we are doing, we are having so much fun!" They were perfect gentleman and let me hold on to them when I had trouble balancing in the dark. They previewed rides for me to see if they were too rough for my poor brain, and even when I gave them license to run they stayed fairly close and really wanted me to do whatever they were doing. I was somewhat reluctant to go on this trip because of the physical strain it would cause me but now I know I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It came about because my mother in law planned to take them but injured her knee. She was kind enough to change the reservation to my name so the boys would not be disappointed. It turned out to be such a nice time with my older boys and I am very grateful I had the time with them. I will never forget it.
One more mega-Disney day and another Universal day and we were back home very late Sunday night, exhausted (well, at least I was). I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation, and lucky for me I got one! I had long before scheduled my annual retreat for the following weekend, before the Florida trip came up for me. So, feeling a little guilty about leaving my little ones (who actually seem to miss me when I'm gone) again so soon, I drove with friends up to beautiful Trumbull Manor in Novato for a long weekend of (mostly) silent prayer and reflection.
This retreat was hands-down the best I have ever been on, for several reasons. First, four friends came with me and I was so happy to see how they responded to the retreat. Second, a priest I know and greatly respect but have not seen in a few years gave the retreat. It was such a pleasure to talk with him and hear his reflections after so much time. He gave me spiritual direction when I was first diagnosed with cancer and was a large part of the reason my faith strengthened during that time.
Third, the director of the retreat was the very same woman, who I have only met once before, that let me in to the Westfield Residence (an Opus Dei center) at UCLA the day I learned the cancer was in my liver and I was stage IV. She was the first person I saw after I received the news, and she let me into the oratory to pray in front of the blessed sacrament. She then gave me Don Alvaro's prayer card and thus began my prayers for his intercession (see November 2009 blogs for the beginnings of this). I couldn't believe it when we recognized each other right away from that one-time meeting but she, also, was instrumental in getting me through that very difficult diagnosis with a cheerful and hopeful heart. When I was done crying she gave me tea and cake and listened to me when I really needed it. It's no wonder I found a vocation to this wonderful Work of God with examples like them to guide me there.
Last but not least, I somehow managed to stay more silent than usual during this retreat. I do an awful lot of talking to God, but not nearly enough listening. I found that when I settled down enough to really listen, that he had many helpful things to tell me. Many things were clarified for me that I could not see before, and I have a deep peace as a result of that weekend. I am truly blessed indeed.
If you are still reading this long tale, I have saved the best news for last. I got the results of my recent brain scan on Friday. For the first time in many scans, the two remaining lesions in my brain have both shrunk "slightly". I have been happy with "stable" for awhile, so I am beyond thrilled with shrinkage, no matter how slight it is! Stay tuned for Tuesday results of my first whole body PET/CT in four months...we will see if we have stopped the march of cancer across my bones with the addition of the not-so-fun Xeloda. It would be nice to know it is worth the discomfort!
Sorry this grew into the blog that ate Manhattan, but I had so much to talk about. I guess that happens when you don't blog for six weeks. Thanks for continuing to read!
Shortly after my last post I got into Easter preparations which, for a cantor and choir member are extensive. Singing for stations of the cross, Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday Veneration, Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday kept me quite busy. I spent close to as much time at church than I did at home for a good week! And that was a good thing for me, as I so love to sing to our Lord. We ended the flurry with a lovely, peaceful family Easter at home.
Then the real activity began. The day after Easter I went down to Cedars-Sinai for my regular treatment. After treatment I stayed in Los Angeles, killing time by experimenting with city bus routes (first time on a bus in more than 20 years...the fare went up!) until I found my way to the Grove. I had some lunch, went to a movie and waited for my boys to arrive so we could go to the airport.
Soon enough we were on our way to Orlando. It had been awhile since I had spent good quality time with Joey (14) and Sam (11), so it was really nice to travel just the three of us. When we arrived at 5am (ugh) after a flight where I was sandwiched between the boys (who had boundless energy to poke each other repeatedly over my not-resting-but-should-have-been body), we drove to Cocoa Beach on the East Coast of Florida. They boys went straight to the beach while I happened upon a daily mass beginning right then directly across the street. Divine intervention? I think so.
After spending a very sandy day at a beautiful beach (perfect for my skimboarding boys) we checked into our hotel and tried to catch up on our sleep.
The next day we went to the Kennedy Space Center. It exceeded all of our expectations. The boys were of the mind that they would rather have an extra day at Disneyland, but when we finished our tour they both agreed that it was more than worth the detour. It would have been the perfect day had I not listened to "Siri" who directed me away from all of the signs pointing me to the space center and instead delivered us 20 minutes away to an employee back gate. Of course we had to go all the way back around, but we did see some amazing (and eerily close) Crocodiles and a pretty impressive Bald Eagle Nest, so not all was lost.
I was pretty done by the end of the day, but as fate would have it, Universal Studios was having a Buy 2 Get 1 Free sale when we bought our park tickets. The boys suggested we drive into Orlando--at 6pm--and use the free extra day (that would otherwise be wasted) for the few hours remaining until closing. Since I was feeling surprisingly well, I agreed, and we had a good time getting a preview of the Island of Adventure park that we had never been to before. We concentrated particularly on the Wizarding World Harry Potter which was a lot of fun for a family that has enjoyed the books and seen the movies, but it was really crowded so we didn't do much. On our way out of the park we got hit by a major rainstorm and were soaked to the bone by the time we got to the car. First item of business the next morning when we got to Epcot Center? You got it, Mickey Mouse rain ponchos! Rain had never occurred to us, being desert dwellers, but since it was so warm it was more fun than miserable.
The next day we moved to our hotel in Orlando, and from there the day was all Disney. Epcot with early dinner in Japan, Disney Studios in the late afternoon into evening and The Magic Kingdom until 12:30am. I don't know where I got the energy, but we had so much fun! (As an aside, the doctor I mentioned forgetting in my last blog is a Rehabilitation and Survivorship doctor and has already made some really positive changes in my overall quality of life--more about that in a different post, but the changes were evident in all that I was able to do on this trip).
The following day was Universal, the original park. That was the day I hit the wall. As you may recall, I take an oral chemo one week on, one week off. I had started my week on two days prior and it always hits me on the third day. I pretty much got the kids in the gate, gave them some money and made sure everyone's phone was working and went back to the parking garage and took a long nap. It was during this nap that I came to understand that most people locate their cars by pressing the panic buttons on their remotes. Not the best nap I've ever had, but so needed that it was truly blissful anyway. I met the kids back in the park, still not 100%, and made sure they had dinner after which I stayed put and said my daily prayers in the booth of a cafe, simply happy to be stationary. We finally made it back to the car at 10pm where I traumatized the boys by having to stop the car and throw up. But, what can you do?
Happily, our hotel was very close to the shrine Mary Queen of the Universe. We go there every time we are in Orlando, and this time was no exception. While the boys slept, I would sneak out to morning mass and come back ready for another day. The Eucharist was most definitely the source of my remarkable strength on this whirlwind trip (and always is, for that matter). The church is gorgeous and has a very large gift shop. The Sunday morning mass featured two cantors backed by 4 or 5 other singers that were so pure and beautiful that I nearly wept with joy. We saw Red-Ear Slider turtles swimming in the pond and watched them for a awhile after mass, as Joey has two in a tank in his room.
At about this point in the trip, an amazing thing started to happen. My too-big-to-hug-mom-when-anyone-is-looking sons started spontaneously hugging me and saying things like, "I love you mom" and "Wow, I'm feeling really spoiled with all of this" and "Thank you so much for all we are doing, we are having so much fun!" They were perfect gentleman and let me hold on to them when I had trouble balancing in the dark. They previewed rides for me to see if they were too rough for my poor brain, and even when I gave them license to run they stayed fairly close and really wanted me to do whatever they were doing. I was somewhat reluctant to go on this trip because of the physical strain it would cause me but now I know I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It came about because my mother in law planned to take them but injured her knee. She was kind enough to change the reservation to my name so the boys would not be disappointed. It turned out to be such a nice time with my older boys and I am very grateful I had the time with them. I will never forget it.
One more mega-Disney day and another Universal day and we were back home very late Sunday night, exhausted (well, at least I was). I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation, and lucky for me I got one! I had long before scheduled my annual retreat for the following weekend, before the Florida trip came up for me. So, feeling a little guilty about leaving my little ones (who actually seem to miss me when I'm gone) again so soon, I drove with friends up to beautiful Trumbull Manor in Novato for a long weekend of (mostly) silent prayer and reflection.
This retreat was hands-down the best I have ever been on, for several reasons. First, four friends came with me and I was so happy to see how they responded to the retreat. Second, a priest I know and greatly respect but have not seen in a few years gave the retreat. It was such a pleasure to talk with him and hear his reflections after so much time. He gave me spiritual direction when I was first diagnosed with cancer and was a large part of the reason my faith strengthened during that time.
Third, the director of the retreat was the very same woman, who I have only met once before, that let me in to the Westfield Residence (an Opus Dei center) at UCLA the day I learned the cancer was in my liver and I was stage IV. She was the first person I saw after I received the news, and she let me into the oratory to pray in front of the blessed sacrament. She then gave me Don Alvaro's prayer card and thus began my prayers for his intercession (see November 2009 blogs for the beginnings of this). I couldn't believe it when we recognized each other right away from that one-time meeting but she, also, was instrumental in getting me through that very difficult diagnosis with a cheerful and hopeful heart. When I was done crying she gave me tea and cake and listened to me when I really needed it. It's no wonder I found a vocation to this wonderful Work of God with examples like them to guide me there.
Last but not least, I somehow managed to stay more silent than usual during this retreat. I do an awful lot of talking to God, but not nearly enough listening. I found that when I settled down enough to really listen, that he had many helpful things to tell me. Many things were clarified for me that I could not see before, and I have a deep peace as a result of that weekend. I am truly blessed indeed.
If you are still reading this long tale, I have saved the best news for last. I got the results of my recent brain scan on Friday. For the first time in many scans, the two remaining lesions in my brain have both shrunk "slightly". I have been happy with "stable" for awhile, so I am beyond thrilled with shrinkage, no matter how slight it is! Stay tuned for Tuesday results of my first whole body PET/CT in four months...we will see if we have stopped the march of cancer across my bones with the addition of the not-so-fun Xeloda. It would be nice to know it is worth the discomfort!
Sorry this grew into the blog that ate Manhattan, but I had so much to talk about. I guess that happens when you don't blog for six weeks. Thanks for continuing to read!
Saturday, March 09, 2013
Perhaps She Has A Point
The last time I visited my oncologist, nearly three weeks ago, she was going through the usual questions about how I am feeling, what side effects I am experiencing, etc, etc. I told her the most troublesome thing to me was the short term memory loss that I have experienced since my brain radiation. I forget things almost instantly if I don't write them down. If I do manage to write them down I don't remember to look at the calendar. I am busy working on using my iPhone for reminders of important things (like when to pick up the kids and what night Sam has scouts) because I can't even remember to go to choir when it's Thursday--and you all know how much I love going to choir!
My long term memory is fine. I can remember things that happened years ago and my times tables and all that. I can still diagram sentences (thank goodness as I am recently in need of this skill again to help the kids with homework) and know how to find anything I need on the internet. Its really just things in the present and recent past. I can't remember if I took my medicine (hence, the pillbox), I can't remember if I ate lunch, I can't remember the details of a conversation I had with someone a few hours earlier even if something important was discussed. If I had a dollar for every time I went into the garage to get something and then stood and stared for long minutes while I tried to recall what it was I was looking for (or even what I had been doing) I would be doing quite well for myself.
So, as I explained this to my doctor, she recommended that I see a colleague of hers who is a specialist in this type of "cognitive disfunction" due to damage to the brain from radiation or other injuries. He may be able to give me some exercises or Ginko Biloba or something to help restore some of the lost brain cells. She said his office would call me.
About a week later I received a call from the doctor's office. I brilliantly said, "I'm sorry, WHO?" with no immediate recollection of the conversation. She went on to explain that she had received a referral from my oncologist for help with cognitive disfunction. I said, again demonstrating my great intelligence, "Oh, yeah! I totally forgot!" A little giggle from her and then I added, "I suppose you hear that from tons of your patients." She didn't comment on that, but it must be so. They almost certainly have more missed appointments than your average doctor. I can't wait to see how often they remind me of this appointment over the next few days!
So to those of you who tell me things that I immediately forget, and to those to whom I place frantic calls asking where or when someone's game/track meet/etc. is, thank you for bearing with me and helping me along. And please know that if you tell me something and I don't remember it, it is not because I don't care. I DO care, I just can't overcome the sagging brain. Hopefully this new doctor (if I make it to my appointment, of course) can help me!
Clearly, I am in need of his services.
My long term memory is fine. I can remember things that happened years ago and my times tables and all that. I can still diagram sentences (thank goodness as I am recently in need of this skill again to help the kids with homework) and know how to find anything I need on the internet. Its really just things in the present and recent past. I can't remember if I took my medicine (hence, the pillbox), I can't remember if I ate lunch, I can't remember the details of a conversation I had with someone a few hours earlier even if something important was discussed. If I had a dollar for every time I went into the garage to get something and then stood and stared for long minutes while I tried to recall what it was I was looking for (or even what I had been doing) I would be doing quite well for myself.
So, as I explained this to my doctor, she recommended that I see a colleague of hers who is a specialist in this type of "cognitive disfunction" due to damage to the brain from radiation or other injuries. He may be able to give me some exercises or Ginko Biloba or something to help restore some of the lost brain cells. She said his office would call me.
About a week later I received a call from the doctor's office. I brilliantly said, "I'm sorry, WHO?" with no immediate recollection of the conversation. She went on to explain that she had received a referral from my oncologist for help with cognitive disfunction. I said, again demonstrating my great intelligence, "Oh, yeah! I totally forgot!" A little giggle from her and then I added, "I suppose you hear that from tons of your patients." She didn't comment on that, but it must be so. They almost certainly have more missed appointments than your average doctor. I can't wait to see how often they remind me of this appointment over the next few days!
So to those of you who tell me things that I immediately forget, and to those to whom I place frantic calls asking where or when someone's game/track meet/etc. is, thank you for bearing with me and helping me along. And please know that if you tell me something and I don't remember it, it is not because I don't care. I DO care, I just can't overcome the sagging brain. Hopefully this new doctor (if I make it to my appointment, of course) can help me!
Clearly, I am in need of his services.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Happenings
I'm not going to lie to you. Re-entry from our vacation was...well, a bit of a shock. However, now that I am settled and things are back to normal (if there is such a thing around here), I am plowing along, day by day, busy with our usual activities and with some unusual ones as well. It follows, then, that this will be a rambling post about this and that since so many things are happening in our family these days.
The kids are doing all kinds of things to keep themselves busy. Joey just got his letterman's jacket and we are so proud of him! This totally biased mom thinks he looks great, especially when pictured with his beaming dad sporting his own now-ancient jacket. Two generations of football, more to come I hope. I particularly like Joey's choice for the back of his jacket: "Saint Michael the Archangel, Defend us in Battle". He is rarely home as he goes to school at 6:15 for off-season football conditioning and stays until 5:30 for track practice. He is a sprinter as you may recall and is trying hurdles for the first time--I hear he's good and can't wait for his first meet.
In stark contrast, Lindsey, too, has realized her life's dream, as she finally has the hammock she has been wanting for some time. Jay and I brought it back from Costa Rica for her in her very favorite color. She is spending lots of time there reading and listening to music despite the still-wintery weather. She cantors often for school masses and I love to hear her sweet voice. She constantly amuses me with her lovable quirkiness.
Sam just returned from his first "Snow Camping" adventure with his Boy Scout troop. Here he is with all his gear, ready for his two mile hike in fresh powder at midnight. Not surprisingly, when asked how it was, his reply was, "Cold." Even so, he had a great time at the Klondike Derby shooting snow cannons (what the heck is a snow cannon anyway?!) and competing with other troops in all sorts of snowy events. He, unlike Joey, decided to continue on from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts and is really enjoying all the activities his very busy troop provides for him to do. He is also playing basketball for the first time for Sacred Heart and loves it. Not being a basketball family, we are not sure where this came from, but we are happy for him!
Julia continues with her gymnastics and is a pleasure to watch. She will be competing new routines in some upcoming meets and I am looking forward to seeing how she has grown in her sport since the fall. Bella has begun taking gym classes too and is catching on quickly. I hope it isn't the end of her cheer career as she is such a great little cheerleader. However, gymnastics stole Julia from cheer and it may snatch Bella away as well. Bella will be turning six on Friday.
Toothless, Tiger Scout Tony is VERY BUSY playing Minecraft. This is a building game and I am absolutely stunned at the complicated and creative worlds he has created. Of course, I am thinking he is a budding architect and am happy to have at least one career decided upon for my children. Six more to go...
Natalie is my constant companion and a continual joy. I am treasuring this last year and a half of having her at home. I will be lost when she goes to school. (But maybe I'll get over it somehow.)
As for me, I fell off a ladder last week and banged my head pretty hard on the corner of a table on my way down. Luckily, I had a brain scan scheduled a few days later anyway, and the bump was on the opposite side of my Omaya, so we were able to see pretty quickly that all was well. Nonetheless, it hurt quite a bit and slowed me down considerably for a few days. I will be avoiding ladders from now on.
About that brain scan: Remarkably, I remain stable. Still have two metastatic spots, still not growing, shrinking or changing. Though I would prefer "clear" I am pretty happy with "stable". Chalk up another two months for me, hurray! God is good.
Finally, Jay and I are excited to be doing something totally out of the ordinary for us. We are going to the Costume Designer Guild Awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. My friend from high school, now a successful business owner, runs this show (among many other things) every year and she sent us tickets out of the blue for fun. I have a gown to wear (great sale at Macy's!) and Jay has his tux all ready to go. We are like little kids playing dress up...and maybe we'll even see some movie stars! Fun, fun fun.
This is starting to feel like the Christmas letter I never wrote...so I'll close with that. Rest assured that, though much time passes between posts at times, that I am well. Thanks for reading.
The kids are doing all kinds of things to keep themselves busy. Joey just got his letterman's jacket and we are so proud of him! This totally biased mom thinks he looks great, especially when pictured with his beaming dad sporting his own now-ancient jacket. Two generations of football, more to come I hope. I particularly like Joey's choice for the back of his jacket: "Saint Michael the Archangel, Defend us in Battle". He is rarely home as he goes to school at 6:15 for off-season football conditioning and stays until 5:30 for track practice. He is a sprinter as you may recall and is trying hurdles for the first time--I hear he's good and can't wait for his first meet.
In stark contrast, Lindsey, too, has realized her life's dream, as she finally has the hammock she has been wanting for some time. Jay and I brought it back from Costa Rica for her in her very favorite color. She is spending lots of time there reading and listening to music despite the still-wintery weather. She cantors often for school masses and I love to hear her sweet voice. She constantly amuses me with her lovable quirkiness.
Julia continues with her gymnastics and is a pleasure to watch. She will be competing new routines in some upcoming meets and I am looking forward to seeing how she has grown in her sport since the fall. Bella has begun taking gym classes too and is catching on quickly. I hope it isn't the end of her cheer career as she is such a great little cheerleader. However, gymnastics stole Julia from cheer and it may snatch Bella away as well. Bella will be turning six on Friday.
Toothless, Tiger Scout Tony is VERY BUSY playing Minecraft. This is a building game and I am absolutely stunned at the complicated and creative worlds he has created. Of course, I am thinking he is a budding architect and am happy to have at least one career decided upon for my children. Six more to go...
Natalie is my constant companion and a continual joy. I am treasuring this last year and a half of having her at home. I will be lost when she goes to school. (But maybe I'll get over it somehow.)
As for me, I fell off a ladder last week and banged my head pretty hard on the corner of a table on my way down. Luckily, I had a brain scan scheduled a few days later anyway, and the bump was on the opposite side of my Omaya, so we were able to see pretty quickly that all was well. Nonetheless, it hurt quite a bit and slowed me down considerably for a few days. I will be avoiding ladders from now on.
About that brain scan: Remarkably, I remain stable. Still have two metastatic spots, still not growing, shrinking or changing. Though I would prefer "clear" I am pretty happy with "stable". Chalk up another two months for me, hurray! God is good.
Finally, Jay and I are excited to be doing something totally out of the ordinary for us. We are going to the Costume Designer Guild Awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. My friend from high school, now a successful business owner, runs this show (among many other things) every year and she sent us tickets out of the blue for fun. I have a gown to wear (great sale at Macy's!) and Jay has his tux all ready to go. We are like little kids playing dress up...and maybe we'll even see some movie stars! Fun, fun fun.
This is starting to feel like the Christmas letter I never wrote...so I'll close with that. Rest assured that, though much time passes between posts at times, that I am well. Thanks for reading.
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