Thursday, October 01, 2015

Peace, Faith, Hope and Love

I am experiencing a "double dip" on the roller coaster right now, so I thought I would let you know what is happening so you can ride along with me!

My recent brain scan showed that the tumor we radiated in July shrunk by about half.  Great news.  The not-so-great news is that a tumor that we treated in February 2014 is growing again.  Theoretically, since I had whole brain radiation in 2011, I am safely allowed one more direct treatment to each new tumor that pops up.   As this has already been treated, there is not much we can do here if we want to be totally safe.  The tumor is too far interior for surgical intervention, so we are trying a couple of other things.  First, I have another brain MRI in a few weeks that adds a special process which will allow my neuro oncologist to see what portion of the area is new tumor and what is scar tissue from the last treatment by the blood flowing in the area.  This is important information for him, as necrosis (scarring) can keep growing for some time after treatment and without the blood flow information it is hard to know what is what.  The second thing is to try to treat with chemos that cross the blood/brain barrier.  One of my two new ones does cross, so we will see if that helps over the next few months.

This is the first time in a long time we have had a genuine concern so I am definitely asking for prayers.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I also wanted to share with everyone how completely peaceful I am about this development.  As you know, I have a very strong faith and I truly believe that whatever happens here will be for the best according to God's will, even if we can't see it right away.  I am his daughter and he loves me.  I trust him completely and this brings me such great peace.  I don't spend time worrying about what I can't control (which is basically everything!), and I am not afraid.  So I also ask that, as you pray for me, that you will ask God for this same peace and trust in your own life.  It has made such a difference in mine and I want everyone to experience it.

I thank my family and dear friends who have stepped up their care for me during this dip, especially as I get used to my new drugs.  I love you all so much!

I am very optimistic that we will clear this hurdle and that I will have many more years here on earth to enjoy.  Hope is a beautiful thing.

On a related note, I urge all of you to go as soon as you can to Governor Brown's web site and ask him to Veto the bill now on his desk that would approve Assisted Suicide in California.  We have until October 7th, but he could move sooner.

This is a very personal issue for me as I don't want this to open the door for my insurance company to decide I am too expensive to keep alive and that now we have a "better" option for those of us with terminal illnesses.  I believe there is great value in suffering if we learn how to direct it properly, for the benefit of others.  I don't want anyone but God to decide when my life ends.  If you agree with even a part of this, please take a minute to follow these instructions:

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3. Type your First Name, Last Name, and Email address
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8. Type in a brief comment 
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Thank you!