Friday, August 25, 2006

Appreciating My Husband

I have been consumed of late with appreciation for the husband I have in Jay. With every year of our marriage I become more aware of just how amazing he is and how lucky I am that he chose me too. Now, I am not trying to make anyone nauseous here, but I just can't help waxing poetic for a few minutes. So, consider yourself warned and proceed with caution!

For the first time in our married life, Jay is looking for a job. For more than 10 years he was with the same company (although it was acquired multiple times during his employ), and we became used to that stability. His industry was software/professional services and he was very good at what he did.

Last year we embarked upon an adventure and Jay joined a family business as a real estate broker. Although there were many wonderful things about being part of this business, he realized after about a year that he really missed his former career and wanted to go back to it. Hence the job search.

For several weeks now, Jay has been pounding the pavement, so to speak, looking for the right opportunity. I know this is very stressful for him, as he has a lot of pressure being the sole provider of our large and ever-growing family. But only rarely have I seen the toll this must be taking on him. He has been playing with the kids, taking advantage of his time around the house to make repairs and generally help me with meals and the children, all the while maintaining an active and professional job search.

I know that I am witnessing the actions of a man who truly has the peace of Christ. At no time, even when seemingly excellent job prospects have disintegrated and disappointed, has his faith wavered. He carries on with the absolute certainty that God will provide in accordance with His will. And his calmness and trust is contagious. I, too, know that everything will be fine, whatever the future holds for us.

This summer could have been awful. No one would have blamed Jay if he had been grumpy and withdrawn, stressed and secluded. But instead he was the opposite of all of these things. He helped me through the worst of my nausea, changed Tony's diaper more frequently than I did, was happy to lifeguard the children while working on his internet job search so I could go grocery shopping. He was with us more this summer than he has been in years, and we have all blossomed as a result of his presence.

There is a book that describes The Five Love Languages that people speak. My love language is "Acts of Service" which means that I feel most loved when Jay does things to help me. Things like filling up my car with gas when he's out, watching the kids so I can go to Costco alone, hanging shelves or unloading the dishwasher tell me he loves me more than words or gifts ever could. He has been speaking my love language all summer long and this must be why my heart is overflowing.

We are hopeful that Jay's job search is nearing its end (prayers are requested and appreciated!), and we will be grateful when our future is secured and known once again. But I will never regret this summer, this summer that could have been the worst summer ever, because it ended up being priceless for our family. There is no amount of money I would rather have than this time we had with Jay.

Father Tom, our priest, has a homily about a child who described the saints (whom he knew from their images on the stained glass windows in the church) as "people who let the light shine through them." This is how I think of Jay. He lets the light of Christ shine right through him to illuminate the lives of those around him.

Thank you, God, for my husband.


Jen said...

As a friend who has known you the longest it makes my heart swell, and not with nasuea, that you have such a special husband. I personally saw this Jay you are talking about over the summer and except for one time he very mildly blew you off because he was talking "guy" stuff with Jason he is exactly how you describe. And frankly I was so excited he and Jason were "bonding" it didn't phase me one bit!:) As I have told you time and time again you are an inspiration to me and your marriage is too. It is trult amazing what simple acts of kindness can do to a persons psyche.

Anonymous said...

Dear Suz,

It is with great joy that I have been reading your Blogs. This one especially fills my heart. You are a very BLESSED woman to have such a husband as Jay! I am alone and living my life as a single person now. It is alright but I have faith that God will answer my prayers and provide me with a "Jay". You and your family have my blessings and, please keep writing and posting those pics of the kids!

With love,

Anne Clark

Suzanne Di Silvestri said...

Thank you, Anne. I'm glad to know you are reading. You are in our prayers.

Suzanne Di Silvestri said...

Jen, we are both lucky in love, are we not? I think Jason is pretty wonderful too. Thanks for your comments, I always look forward to them.

Annie Bizzi said...

To add...when we speak of Jay we always think of his devotion to the Rosary and how he lives out the teachings of Saint Jose Maria Escriva. It's obvious by his devotion to Our Mother that he is able to imbue the love of service within his family and truly live "The Way". It's amazing to see God's abundant blessings continually falling upon your family (emphasis on abundant). :)

antonia said...

Awww! How wonderful!

God Bless you both!

Tina said...

Also as a witness of the kindness that the two of show to each other, I see that you are BLESSED in many ways from the love of your husband. His love is seen in the little things his does and in his voice that is filled with love as he says from across the room "Love you Babe." Tim and I are thrilled that you call us friends and that we are blessed to be witnesses of a loving and charishing relationship. Lots of Love.


Suzanne Di Silvestri said...

OK, these comments made me cry. (I must admit, I cried when I was writing this entry, too...pregnancy hormones, you know!).

Your marriages, Andrea and Tina, are also beautiful models for your children and for anyone who is looking! Love, sacrifice, putting God first, eachother second and all else next is lived out in your homes. The playful nature of both of your marriages never fails to warm my heart. I, too, am blessed to have friends like you!