I have been consumed of late with appreciation for the husband I have in Jay. With every year of our marriage I become more aware of just how amazing he is and how lucky I am that he chose me too. Now, I am not trying to make anyone nauseous here, but I just can't help waxing poetic for a few minutes. So, consider yourself warned and proceed with caution!
For the first time in our married life, Jay is looking for a job. For more than 10 years he was with the same company (although it was acquired multiple times during his employ), and we became used to that stability. His industry was software/professional services and he was very good at what he did.
Last year we embarked upon an adventure and Jay joined a family business as a real estate broker. Although there were many wonderful things about being part of this business, he realized after about a year that he really missed his former career and wanted to go back to it. Hence the job search.
For several weeks now, Jay has been pounding the pavement, so to speak, looking for the right opportunity. I know this is very stressful for him, as he has a lot of pressure being the sole provider of our large and ever-growing family. But only rarely have I seen the toll this must be taking on him. He has been playing with the kids, taking advantage of his time around the house to make repairs and generally help me with meals and the children, all the while maintaining an active and professional job search.
I know that I am witnessing the actions of a man who truly has the peace of Christ. At no time, even when seemingly excellent job prospects have disintegrated and disappointed, has his faith wavered. He carries on with the absolute certainty that God will provide in accordance with His will. And his calmness and trust is contagious. I, too, know that everything will be fine, whatever the future holds for us.
This summer could have been awful. No one would have blamed Jay if he had been grumpy and withdrawn, stressed and secluded. But instead he was the opposite of all of these things. He helped me through the worst of my nausea, changed Tony's diaper more frequently than I did, was happy to lifeguard the children while working on his internet job search so I could go grocery shopping. He was with us more this summer than he has been in years, and we have all blossomed as a result of his presence.
There is a book that describes The Five Love Languages that people speak. My love language is "Acts of Service" which means that I feel most loved when Jay does things to help me. Things like filling up my car with gas when he's out, watching the kids so I can go to Costco alone, hanging shelves or unloading the dishwasher tell me he loves me more than words or gifts ever could. He has been speaking my love language all summer long and this must be why my heart is overflowing.
We are hopeful that Jay's job search is nearing its end (prayers are requested and appreciated!), and we will be grateful when our future is secured and known once again. But I will never regret this summer, this summer that could have been the worst summer ever, because it ended up being priceless for our family. There is no amount of money I would rather have than this time we had with Jay.
Father Tom, our priest, has a homily about a child who described the saints (whom he knew from their images on the stained glass windows in the church) as "people who let the light shine through them." This is how I think of Jay. He lets the light of Christ shine right through him to illuminate the lives of those around him.
Thank you, God, for my husband.