Betrayed

I can hardly believe a week has passed since my last post. All I can say about this is that I have been very self-absorbed this past week, totally focused on a most surprising yet ultimately inevitable betrayer: my own body.

I have always been blessed with good health. Even putting my body through closely spaced pregnancies hasn't phased it much, until now. But I guess it's had it. It's tired. It's saying enough. It is rebelling.

The last time I had gestational diabetes, all I had to do was slightly alter my eating schedule, knock out refined sugars and be sure I ate enough protein in combination with any carbs. It was almost effortless to keep my sugars within normal, healthy ranges for the duration of my pregnancy. Then, when I didn't even come down with this condition during my pregnancy with Tony, I thought I was in great shape. But, alas, it was only lying dormant, gathering strength for its next visit.

This time I cannot control my blood sugar with my diet. I have meticulously followed a ridiculously complicated diet, eaten at all hours of the day, measured everything that has gone in my mouth, taken my vitamins, choked down glass after glass of water, yet to no avail. Yesterday my doctor conceded failure on my behalf (after emphatically assuring me that this is not in any way my fault, which I appreciated very much) and prescribed glybuteride to stimulate my pancreas to make more insulin.

The good news is that it is working. My sugars are quite low today and everyone is happy that my body can respond to this kick start and not need insulin injections at this point. The bad news is that it is working too well and I am now fighting hypoglycemia. The nutritionist (who is great, by the way) warned me that this might happen as my body adjusts to new levels of insulin production, but I feel like a science experiment gone wrong. Now an hour after each meal, I find myself staving off a cold sweat and shaking fingers by pounding milk. Go figure! The doctors assure me this is far preferable to the high blood sugars which can harm the baby, but it all seems a little crazy to me. Ultimately, I trust the advice I am being given, which matches all the research I have been doing, but one can't help really, really praying that these people know what they are doing!

I have been signed up for twice weekly fetal monitoring and ultrasound, where they will watch this little one kick and follow her heartbeat for 30 minutes at a time to be sure all is well, and measure the growth to be sure she does not become to large for a safe vaginal delivery. I am thrilled with the responsiveness I have from Kaiser (this is my first Kaiser pregnancy) and the amount of attention they are giving this condition, although, of course, I wish none of it were necessary.

Thank you for bearing with this medical whoa-is-me post. Overnight I have become one of those elderly folks who can't think or talk about anything other than their own health problems! Aaaarrrggg! But I can relate to them now. One's health can be all-consuming, especially when the health of another is dependent on it.

Well, thank goodness I have a toddler, a destructive puppy and 4 other helpful, wonderful children to distract me--we all know I can't stay focused on myself for long!