Thursday, August 04, 2011

The Graduate

I did it! 20 sessions of daily Whole Brain Radiation are behind me and I am so happy. I do not have to go back to the doctor for three whole weeks. I am so relieved and joyful!

I will be honest. I was not sure I was going to make it through this. I have been blessed with good health most of my life. Pregnancy after pregnancy, along with a year and half with Stage IV cancer, did not even begin to teach me what "sick"really meant until this month. The sick that leaves you feeling like you no longer have any control over your body or your mind, the kind that makes you realize, with complete clarity, your mortality. The kind that makes you understand that we are all completely reliant on our friends and family, ultimately, to care for us when we have reached a state when we are entirely unable to do so for ourselves. Truly humbling, life-changing, sick. I get it now, and I respect it. Cancer is not for wimps, no sirree.

But this wimp is stirring and oh-so-ready to start feeling healthy again. They have officially stopped shooting poison in my brain and I am about to enter a period of 3-4 months of healing here, where we wait while my brain stops swelling and we can get a better idea of how this treatment worked. We will know in November. By all accounts my great fatigue and inability to process things like a normal human being will continue for several months here while my body recovers from the great insult it has received, but I am completely hopeful that little by little I will return to strength here.

I am physically broken in the sense that I am very easily overwhelmed by conversations and needing to track details of things. I have little short term memory right now and cannot walk or stand for more than a few minutes without becoming too weak. I am bloated and swollen, bald and fuzzy but so very grateful to be alive and here with my family. I am enjoying what I can only describe as one of the most blessed times in my life as my friends and family have come from all over to feed me and care for me and make me laugh at all the wonderful things around me. My spiritual life is strong and I am filled with hope for the future, no matter what may come.

Just a little update for you all...I believe positive things are on the horizon!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

XOXOXOXO
So glad that is over for you! Rest and relax! Love and prayers,
Sarah McCormick

Janet said...

Congrats Grad! You are sooo blessed! Please, pray for my father. For his fight on cancer, but also for his soul. I know God will hear you! Again, you continue to inspire, and lead by example, thanks!-Janet <3

Emily Aoun said...

What an amazing fighter you are!! Remind me never to get on your bad side! ;) Like Sarah said, just rest and relax. You deserve it!

PS- Thank you so much for finding the energy to update us all! I truly appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

So good to hear from you. Awesome that you are on the other side. Praying for healing and recovery and ultimate cure. You are so inspiring and maybe will never know how much so to others. Mel

Karen said...

So glad it's over! God bless you...you are such an inspiration!

Rachel said...

Thank you for the update Suzanne! Prayers and love,
The Whitehead Family

Natalie said...

Suzanne-
Thank you so much for openly sharing your joys and challenges on this blog. What an amazing example of Christian suffering you have given. May God hold you in the palm of His hand as you enjoy a much needed break!! We are praying for you daily-
Love, Natalie

Anonymous said...

Suzanne,
You and your family are in the hearts and minds of so many. May you find comfort in knowing that so many are wishing you well and praying for you. Your strength, positive attitude, and faith are an inspiration. I will continue to pray for your healing.

Allaire said...

Dearest sweet, strong, beautiful Suzanne,
You are the best, most shining example of a heroine!
Here is to your graduation! YOU DID IT! Many, many, many, many prayers infinitely for your commencement of true healing! I believe!
Humbled by your awesomeness! Allaire :)

jeniekelso said...

Let the healing begin!!! Our prayers will continue. Your humor and love of God are a inspiration!!!

viagra online pharmacy said...

hey dear blogger, I just wanted to say that I am so happy for you, it is good not to have to go to the doctor for some time and I hope you already recovered totally