Friday, January 08, 2010

Feeling It

Yes, indeed, for the past few days I have been feeling as if I actually do have a serious illness. Most of the time I don't feel much more than tired and nauseous, but yesterday and today have been at a new level. Yesterday I slept 18 hours. Really. 18! I didn't know a person could sleep that much. Today I got out of bed only to shower, and was so weak and chilled by the end of it that I had to wonder if I wasn't better off grimy.

I learned at my last treatment that I am moderately anemic, so much so that there was some discussion as to whether or not treatment could proceed. Happily, my oncologist is all about killing cancer and he is on a mission with me, so he barely hesitated, slowing only to take another six buckets of blood from me to try to pinpoint the cause so he can treat it most effectively. Yes, I like this man. For those of you number folks or medical types, a healthy red blood range is 11 or 12 to 18 and mine has been steadily declining to its new low of 8.7. Apparently at 8.0 it becomes "severe" and lots of unpleasantries begin so we're hoping to hold her steady here. Probably not coincidentally, my oncologist is currently conducting a clinical trial on anemia during chemotherapy, so once again I am in the right place at the right time. Funny how this keeps happening, eh?

Happily, I am "feeling it" in another way too. My affected breast now feels so normal that I would not think to seek medical attention for it if I woke up with it for the first time today. In fact, I probably wouldn't even notice it unless I was pretty dilligent in a self exam. So, I may be feeling a wreck, but clearly so is the cancer. I believe the clock has been turned back on it somewhere in the neighborhood of 9 months in just four weeks. That's a miracle i'd willingly feel just about anything for.


Sarah McCormick said...

Dear Suzanne,
Keep up the fight, you are doing awesome! You are the strongest person I know. Sleep and relax and let your body do whats it is doing. Triple prayers are heading your way. Love you friend.
Love, Sarah McCormick

antonia said...

lots of love and prayers for you

karen said...

God bless you! Hang in there!! You are an inspiration! St. Peregrine, pray for us.

anna lisa said...

Dear Suzanne,

Praying and making little sacrifices for you.

Sleeping is exactly what you need. Go with it.

(Kill those suckers!!!)

Hugs to your angels.


Anna Lisa

jen said...

18 hours-wow!
Thinking of you Suz! Love to you and your beautiful family!!

Annie Bizzi said...

I have dabbled around anemia for awhile now with so many pregnancies/miscarriages, etc.--I make it a point to keep my diet high in iron, use a cast iron skillet for cooking and get exercise whenever I can. Clams, lentil soup and lean beef seem to be the best sources for me and I take Vit C everyday to help absorption. It seems to have helped my energy, but of course your situation is a little different--hopefully this helps!
Love to you,

KatieGirl said...

God is with you and keeping you strong. Our prayers are with you constantly lifting you up. I hope the kids are handling it all. I added your Mom to my prayer list. I hope she is better as well. I pray for strength for Jay and the little ones.

nicole said...

Somehow you sound so positive, even when you're talking about feeling sick. So glad you continue to share with us.

Anonymous said...

Suzanne -
Haven't heard from you in a while and I hope that means that you are simply sleeping and working hard to kill the beast. In the meantime I read a quote today and wanted to share as it reminded me of you:
"What I do, you cannot; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful." - Mother Teresa
You have a lot of people together with you - great things will happen. Hugs to you. Tracey