Tuesday, October 02, 2012

For All Who Are Wondering...

My targeted brain radiation went well today (who could imagine writing such a ridiculous sentence?!).

Nevertheless, I am happy to report that I am feeling more or less normal (though exceptionally tired) and was able to conduct my activities fairly normally today.  I expect, if whole brain radiation is any indication, that I will dip worse in the fatigue department before feeling better again, so I am prepared for that. But who knows, maybe I'll get lucky!

The doctor was pleased with how it went, and now we wait. And wait. And wait.  We wait 2 or 3 months until I have a brain MRI to see if it worked.  He gives it an 80-90% chance of success.  I think he does not account for prayer in that statistic.

Lying perfectly still on a very hard table with a Jason-like mask smashing my face into place and a bite plate screwed into the face mask was not what I would call pleasant, but luckily I am not claustrophobic, and I was able to control my gag reflex by breathing through my nose and praying during the entire procedure.  I was bound like that for about 30 minutes.  When they finally released me from the screws I had a mask pattern ground into my facial skin that lasted an hour or so and exaggerated mouth sores where the bite plate dug into my gums, but since I have never felt so happy as when I was finally able to scratch my nose and eye that had been itching all during the procedure, I hardly noticed or cared.

I am ever grateful for this day and each day I glean from what I did today, grateful for my family, grateful for modern medicine, grateful for friends and grateful for blog readers who become virtual friends!

But I'm no foolish Pollyanna.  I don't want cancer, I don't want any more brain radiation, and I want this all to stop.  Enough now!  Please?!


Anonymous said...

I think I can speak for all - we all want it to stop for you too so you can get on with watching those children grow. Glad the day is over for you!
Xoxo Tracey

Ann Armenta said...

The other day -- right before I had read your blog or knew about the new tumor -- while praying, I had happened upon a passage in The Message Bible that God had first led me to when you were diagnosed with cancer several years ago: "Look instead to what God can do." (from John 9:3, The Message). (Or, from a regular NIV translation: "This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.") So I prayed for you. Then, I read your blog the other day and saw why God led me to pray. So, I will be looking again to what God can do!

Toni P. said...

Dear Suzanne, Your unwavering faith never ceases to amaze me. You are such an inspiration to all of us dealing with our own issues. I'm glad that you are able to enjoy your family and relax a little more. Jerry and I pray for you all the time.
Love and Hugs. :)

Anonymous said...

(don't know how to use a name) Suzanne: I pray for you unceasingly with a Russian Orthodox prayer Oh heavenly King theComforter the Spirit of Truth who art everywhere present and filleth all things Treasury of Good Gifs and giver of life come and abide in Suzanne and cleanse her of every impurity and save her soul Oh Good One.

antonia said...

Oh dearest dearest Suzanne,
I have just caught up on your September posts. I think of you all the time. I am sorry you are going through all this, but thankful, so very thankful, for the graces you have been given.


Praying for you


Anonymous said...

Dear Suzanne, I'm sorry I didn't know this was going on...my computer was down for over a week. We will hold you in our thoughts and prayers. We'll all pray you through this again. I'm amazed you got through that procedure!!! I'm freaking out just reading it!!! Lots of love to you Suzanne. Mary Herbert

Anonymous said...

I needed you today on what i thought was a very bad day for me. I read your pleasant, hope-filled post and wonder why i wallow in the small slings and arrows of my day . . .
May God bless you, and I will faithfully keep you in my daily Rosary.

anna lisa said...

Suzanne, It has become like Lamaze breathing for me... at mass, rosary and bedtime: "Lord, Suzanne!!" We will be like the persistent guy knocking and knocking on the door, even at midnight. I'm asking Him right now to keep the wind in your sails, and thank you also for all the bounty from your beautiful table that you have offered for the rest of us, your friends.

Gene said...

Hi Suzanne,

I am a friend of Mary Giesler and have been keeping you in my prayers. My wife beat two primary cancers, breast and leiomyosacoma before dying from Glioblastoma Multiforme, a brain cancer. I have a very funny story from when she was undergoing brain radiation. She had the same mask on as you describe and was on the cold table. Just after she got on the table, she moved her arms to imitate Michael Jackson and she starting laughing with the Radiation Technicions. When I drove her to the 32 radiation appointments in downtown LA early in the morning, we would go to McDonalds for Radiation Date breakfast. I hope this story brought a smile to my face as I still smile when recalling this story. She was good at Enjoying the Journey of life, even when the journey had way more than Lemons in her way.

May God Bless you!


Peggy said...

Suzanne, I only know you from friends of yours and this blog. As a nurse, it is so enlightening for me to read about all you go through with your treatments. I can't imagine lying still for 30 minutes with that hard mesh mask on and a bite block that ticks into your tissues.

Yet, you write about it with such humor, strength, faith and realism (yeah, I can get through it but I wish this cancer would go away).

You are in my daily rosary intentions and I look for the day when the doctors are all amazed with the miracle before them -- pronouncing you cancer free.

Thank you for inspiring me to not complain about any trivial ache or pain. God Bless you!!