Check out the blog "I Look Down on Women with Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry" by Amy Glass, and you will have no doubt.
In a word, it is selfishness.
This poor woman has no idea what real happiness is, which only comes from devoting oneself to others. She may experience the thrill of accomplishment that comes with a big job and lots of money, but we run-of-the mill moms know what a temporary satisfaction that is.
Real happiness comes from sitting with your six year old and hearing her successfully work out a word that you know she has never seen and isn't even phonetic. It comes from planning and preparing your husband's favorite meal when you would way rather take a nap. It is found in organizing your son's messy room so he will grin with delight when he comes home and can find all his lego figures in one place. It is in remembering on your way home from the store that your daughter asked you to buy some ridiculous snack and turning around to run in and get it just to please her.
True joy is watching your child turn from a newborn into a person with a beautiful and generous character. It is overhearing your 5 year old praying for other people. It is in sharing the peace of Christ with someone who was previously missing it. It is knowing you made a real difference in another person's life.
Sorry to tell you, Amy, but backpacking through Asia by myself is not even on my list. It would be a complete waste of my time, which is far better spent walking the dog with my family. You say, "You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids." I couldn't disagree more. We wives and moms ARE exceptional to our husband and children. Irreplaceable, really.
You may accomplish great things during your life as far as this world is concerned, but at the end of it all, you will find yourself with the only thing that has ever been important to you: yourself. Your work will disappear with you at the end of your life, but the work of us "average" moms will live on for eternity.
Enough said.
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6 comments:
The article is insulting, pompous and immature. Staying at home, having a successful marriage and raising children is a privilege and an honor, and is certainly NOT easy. Come on, you Suz, are a prime example! Shoot, raising kids and maintaining a marriage is an achievement, and something to be proud of! What the hell is wrong with this woman?!
She OBVIOUSLY does not know you, or anyone remotely like you! Your response to that stupid article is so beautifully beautifully put too. We all know that you work very very hard and also get tremendous satisfaction seeing the beautiful fruits of your labor each and every day! You Suzanne, are the hardest working woman I know!
I just need to to off for a moment.
I have about a dozen plaques and trophies (work related, aquired over the years), with my name engraved on them, now collecting dust in the garage. Sure, the pride, glory and hard work I invested in my work was enjoyable at the time and I got shiny tokens of appreciation and public recognition. Know what though? Because I drank the corporate koolaid and invested 60-70 hours a week for years working in an OFFICE building, my family paid a heavy price, I paid a heavy price! For the last 3 months, I have been a stay at home Mom, which I can assure you, is way more challenging (sleep deprivation, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, parent teacher conferances, budgeting, wifing, etc)-but so much more fulfilling! Sure, we are scraping by, but oh my gosh, I am actually cooking dinner now! My 2 year old runs to ME instead of a babysitter, when she has a boo boo! My heart explodes and my heart also breaks when being at home. It's always an emotional roller coaster because of this enormous responsibility. When I was working, I could "escape". Now, I am always home and the pressure to be mindful at all times of my actions, is sometimes very overwhelming. Look, I'm not saying I was a terrible mother when I was working, but it was actually a lot easier to tune out my family because I was always getting ready, running around and on the go. It was a very selfish way to live. It had to be done, but the family paid a price.
This article hit a nerve with me too obviously. There is no one size fits all approach to being a woman, and this article sure seems like it was meant to hit women like us, right in the jugular. It was hurtful and demeaning and she is obviously the kind of person who tears people down to make herself feel better.
Love you Suz!
XOXO Jen (Terry, Johnson, whatever)
The entity with the pen name of Amy Glass is not worthy of response.
Wait.....did you just call yourself an "average mom?"!!!!
It is sad, but true, that people (and there are increasingly more who are encouraged by media and secular society) who do not know nor appreciate the meaning of selfless love like that of examples such as Mother Teresa .... In the end, as you stated, we have only what we leave behind in a legacy and for ourselves....the hope and love of God and family which money cannot buy....true happiness is not in tangible things, but in examples like you provided, we each have our own in our individual lives.
We should pray for empty souls who do not share in that understanding.....
Sorry, just had to add this....she wrote:
"You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids."
She obviously must either a) not know moms like you, Robin, AnnaLisa, etc.... B) have an entirely different definition of what "exceptional" means...
And lastly, she definitely has never read any of Saint Josemaria's writings on how to be exceptional in our daily life, wherever and whatever that vocation is.....
Turns out that Amy Glass is actually Chrissy Stockton who purposely posted the most provocative opinion she could think of (whether she believes it or not) because the more clicks she gets and the more opinions posted in reply means the more money for her. Several people in advertising revealed this and even said "genius marketing device". It's pretty sad that she would hurt people by mocking their deepest life's beliefs just to get money.
Love you and proud of your choices Suz
Mom
If she is for real and not just about attention and money...at least she is being honest, knows who she is and what wants and doesn't. Imagine if she had those feelings but had kids anyway. How devastating for those kids! Just because we are each given the anatomy to procreate, does not mean that everyone should. There are lots of neglected and abused children out there. They probably would be better off not having been born.
I know a little boy born to a poor, uneducated woman. She very likely did drugs while pregnant. This child has developmental/learning disabilities. He lives in squalor--often filthy from not being bathed, covered in urine and feces. He is underweight and malnourished. He is starved for attention and affection; he acts out, like a feral animal, because he just doesn't know any better. As a mom, I cry for him. The mom now has five kids that she does not care for. I want to shake her. This child has no future and, realistically, will end up in our criminal system.
I read an article and then the comments about a woman who admitted that she didn't like being a mom, that it wasn't all it was hyped to be. Boy, did they ever go after her. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. It would be great if we were all from loving families, educated, married to a good spouse who has a well-paying job, have good healthcare, have a good support system, have a faith of some kind. Most are not so lucky. My father is a selfish, abusive, controlling man. He does not know how to love. He should never have become a father. Anyone who has tried to love him has walked away with scars, esp. his kids, who now struggle through emotional issues to be good parents to their own children.
To each her own. If you want to be a mom, then be the best one possible. If you don't, then be exceptional in whatever path you chose. But don't force your choice on someone else.
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