The problem, as far as I can tell, is that I am vacillating between feeling well and not feeling well. When I don't feel well I sleep a lot and spend tons of time watching fine programming with my kids such as Phineas and Ferb and Spongebob while shivering under my warming blanket. My kids love this (and I am actually amused at some of the shows--scary, isn't it?). However, it is not very productive, so when I do feel well I immediately launch into hyperdrive and work to restore order to my life and my home. There is simply no place for blogging in either of these modes, so I am just going to have to be more consistent about feeling well, that's all. I'll be working on that...
I am busy preparing for brain radiation sometime in the next two weeks. I completed my simulation on Friday and my 3mm slice MRI on Wednesday. Good news from the MRI: it did not turn up anything smaller or new as my doctor had thought it might. There is just the one lesion and soon it will be jettisoned from my brain. Good riddance! The simulation is where they make your mask, strap you to the table (definitely not for the claustrophobic) and run you through the CT scanner so the medical physicists can figure out where to point the radiation relative to where your tumor is and where you will be positioned on the table. It is a very precise and impressive science.
Just for fun, we are also playing "beat the clock" as we race to get the radiation done before my insurance turns me into a pumpkin at UCLA on March 31. So far we are on track to get this done, but it does add a little excitement into the mix. I have my last Herceptin treatment with Dr. Glaspy and his amazing staff on Thursday. I will really miss them and hope everything wonderful I've heard about my new oncologist at Cedars-Sinai is true. I have no doubt that it is, but it is still difficult to leave a medical team you have trusted with your life for two and a half years.
I did visit one of my new doctors at Cedars-Sinai last week. He was great and knows my new oncologist well and also closed the loop about what he was doing with Dr. Glaspy. I really appreciate that attention to detail since there are so many little weird medical things going on with me--a formerly very healthy person--now. This new doc needs to do a biopsy on a small mass that is probably not anything more than a blood clot or a polyp, but with my history no one is taking any chances. So, off the Lovinox for a day and biopsy away! I am seriously praying it is nothing. I need another cancer like I need a hole in the head. (I mean another hole in the head...)
In the meantime, we have had no shortage of things to keep us busy. We have been agonizing over where to send Joey to high school and have very happily and finally come to a decision about that (Paraclete, yay!). That has taken a lot of stress off me and I know it is the best decision for all of us. Sometimes you just have to go through some songs and dances to get to what's best.
Bella had a birthday in late February and is now FIVE YEARS OLD. Crazy, but true. She is a sweet girl and I am so happy God gave her to us. We had a small party for her at Chuck E Cheese per her request. It was nice that everything was done for us and the kids loved it, but about halfway through the party Jay turned to me and said that the place represented every single value we are trying to steer our children away from: need for continual entertainment, constant push for more (tokens, tickets, prizes), etc. Guess we won't be having any more parties there!
I've also kept busy sorting out medical bills (some of my hospital stays were miscoded and insurance is not paying--but they will, I'm sure, it's just a million awful phone calls until they do), finishing taxes, and doing all the things I'm sure you are all busy with as well. Julia is starting her much-needed orthodontic treatment, Lindsey's Academic Decathalon team placed 8th out of 101 schools on Saturday, Sam is reading the Hunger Games (as we all have been doing), Natalie has figured out Club Penguin and how to spend her siblings coins...
In other words, life goes on. A blessing in itself.