I don't remember running for office, yet I was elected anyway. Somehow, I have become the Mayor of Whineytown, and it is not an position I relish.
I suppose I should thank my consituents, without whom Whineytown would not exist. They are dedicated, beyond belief, to their society, so much so that their fearless leader cannot talk on the phone, visit the bathroom, or read her email without their near constant input.
Today's townhall meeting was held in the bathroom while I took my shower. I had hoped for a "closed door" meeting featuring just the chief executive, but Whineytown's citizens would not stand for this in their community. So commenced the "revolving door" meeting, one I would not recommend to other townships.
It began with poor, downtrodden citizen Lindsey, who was stuck in the dreaded time warp in between her visit to the pumpkin patch and her trip to the bowling alley. She whined and cried that she couldn't watch TV during the 40 minute stretch and WHAT WAS SHE GOING TO DO WITH HERSELF?! Further her commitment to being a good citizen of Whineytown, obviously.
Lindsey was not gone a full minute when in came outraged citizen Sam. Why, he wanted to know, did Lindsey get to go the the pumpkin patch when he didn't? It would be difficult for me to accurately represent his level of indignation at this injustice, so I won't even try. But suffice it to say that, even when reminded that he got to go to Universal Studios last week and she didn't, his commitment to the Whineytown name was so strong that he could not be deterred in the slightest.
Sam was passed on his way out the door by sobbing citizen Julia. Her complaint was that I had dared not inform her that I was going to be taking a shower. She reminded me strongly that she ALWAYS wants to know when I take a shower in case she wants to join me. WHY, WHY didn't I tell her?!
The irony of my response was lost on her: "Because I wanted to shower alone."
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6 comments:
LOL! I ALWAYS lock the bathroom door. Sometimes I even lock the master bedroom door to keep the noise at bay.
Too funny--just this very morning I tried to escape to a hot (and quiet) bath...before I even sat down, Sal and Enzo had hopped in next to me! Busytown!
Vadim has an uncanny knack for waking the moment I slip into the steaming hot bubble bath and get comfy. What can I say except Occupational hazard. Kate
that was really funny Suzanne! Santi has recently started to tell people, "good job" when one uses the potty. maybe he will be next??? What is the average age for a boy in your home to use the potty?
I'm sorry you were elected to such a thankless post. I have to admit though that I did laugh out loud. I was imagining the whole event in my mind as you chronicled it. The facial expressions in my mind were probably not that far from the truth since I have 2 examples of it at home. What I find most funny about a situation such as this is the indignation on their part when I don't get how they have been wronged. They don't seem to think it is funny that I laugh even harder the more indignant they get. Who needs Abbott and Costello when I have Becca and Kyle?
This is great. I was just telling my crew, "Listen, either say something nice, or don't say ANYTHINGGGGG!!!"
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