Emerging

Like a butterfly departing from its cocoon, so am I breaking free from the illness that characterizes my treatment week. The last two days I have been cautiously resuming my life and it feels great.

I am now settling comfortably into a pattern of life. It goes pretty much like this: 7 days of sleeping and just barely functioning, 7 days of "ramping up" to semi-regular activities like helping with homework and driving again (with plenty of rest and naps thrown in between activities), and 7 days of feeling almost completely normal with regular energy levels and lots of enthusiasm for all the things I did not get done during the prior 14 days. Then I begin all over again.

This is not so bad. I can definitely do this. To be quite honest, sleeping is not a terrible curse for a mother of seven who hardly ever gets enough under normal circumstances. Similarly, nausea is a really good diet plan for someone who has been meaning to drop the baby weight for about three pregnancies now.

Treatment weeks bring friends and family close, and this I treasure. Our guest room has hardly been empty since my diagnosis and I love it. I am being wrapped up in love and care from those around me so that I really can rest and I really can take my time ramping up to normal again. I am so blessed by this all.

I have been trying very hard to go to mass every day, as receiving communion is, in my view, medicinal as well as spiritually uplifting. In the bible, those who simply touched Jesus' cloak in faith were healed immediately, so how can meeting him in the Eucharist each day fail to assist in my healing?

I have found it difficult to get out of the house and to mass during treatment weeks. This problem has been solved beautifully for me, as Jay has now been trained as a Eucharistic Minister who brings communion to the sick specifically so he can bring me communion on days I cannot go. This is a beautiful thing for us both and I am so thankful to those at our church who supported us in making this happen.

Among other things I am grateful for is the fact that I am able to continue to cantor two out of three Sundays. When this first began I was fearful that I would be too ill to sing anymore at all, but as it is turning out I really can make it happen on the two "off" weeks. Yay!

So, there it is, life as I will experience it for the indefinite future. I am grateful for each day, and it shows in how I am spending my time. (I can't remember the last time I played so many board games with my kids!) Each day is clearer and more precious to me. The mundane is not so much anymore, and this is a really good lesson to learn, for anyone.